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Ps 151?

May 30, 2008

We’ll blame this one on Paul (a.) – oh yes we will! (He’ll make noise about blaming his interim choir director, but WHATEVAH…)

To be chanted in Anglican Chant, solemnly.
Psalm 151

1. The Lord is King; thou shouldst not ever forget it.
* the Lord is King, and he can kick your ass.

2. With his right hook and his holy arm
* he can surely put out your lights!

3. The Lord is great in Zion,
* and most anywhere else you care to mention.

4. He is truly smart and knows lots of things;
* that’s how he got to be God.

5. Mess not with the Lord, neither shall ye piss him off;
* screw not around with him, for his sense of humor has its

6. Those who Fear the Lord are counted as smart persons;
* but those who do not are as dumb as a box of rocks.

7. Incline your ear to me, O Lord, and hearken to my prayer,
* for I am a devoted Anglican.

8. Heed not the prayers of those other Protestants;
* for their prayers are silly ones.

9. They ask for things such as brand new, thick red carpeting,
* and choir-robes made of unnaturally coloured polyester.

10. They cry for pew-cushions, praise-bands, audio-systems and mood lighting;
* and some have prayed to thee to have organs without pipes! (Canst thou even imagine that?)

11. But as for me, I am a tasteful Episcopalian.
* (Yea, Lord, thou knowest that was highly redundant.)

12. The services which we offer before thy throne are truly spectacular;
* one wonders that thy head does not get too big to wear thy tiara!

13. Thou takest no delight in the strumming of guitars,
* nor in the singing of ‘Kumbahyah.’

14. Yet the music of Stanford, Howells, Byrd and the like
* brings a grin of pleasure even unto thy countenance.

15. I shall offer such worthy treasures unto thee as long as I shall live,
* and not any mindless, trivial, banal pieces of crap that some would have us consider as valid music.

16. And if I should fail to keep this promise,
* thou mayest kick my ass, as referred to in verse one.

The first double chant (through verse 10) is by Herbert Howells; the remaining verses by Edward Hopkins, says Paul.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. May 30, 2008 7:22 pm

    I heart Paul. And his choir director, or whomever…

  2. susan s. permalink
    May 31, 2008 12:21 am

    I’m not sure that verse 6 is correctly typed…
    I think that it should read ‘those who Fear the lord..’

    Tee Hee Hee!

  3. episcopalifem permalink*
    May 31, 2008 8:49 am

    Eeeep! I just cut and pasted without editing.

  4. susan s. permalink
    May 31, 2008 9:25 am

    Then we can blame him! 🙂

  5. Paul (A.) permalink
    May 31, 2008 8:45 pm

    Yes, remind me not to type when I’ve just come back from the ophthalmologist and can’t see.

  6. June 2, 2008 12:57 pm

    *sporfle* *dies*

  7. June 5, 2008 11:18 am

    Oh dear Lord. I should not have read this at work! *dies laughing*

  8. June 12, 2008 8:35 am

    I see the tune and the words, but I cannot imagine how they go together. How does one reconcile the 16 verses with 14 measures of music?

    • Anthony Lee permalink
      April 22, 2014 5:40 pm

      Vs 7-8 on the second half of Howells.
      I would like to know to whom to attribute this. It’s likely to go as viral as “The model of today’s Episcopalian” did 20 years ago.

      • episcopalifem permalink*
        May 10, 2014 10:25 am

        I honestly have no idea!

  9. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 12, 2008 9:30 am

    Baptist guy..I sent you a couple of emails that should help to ‘splain it better than I could.

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