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Interesting-ish: Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

April 13, 2008

Read this on Yahoo today.

Basically – the article says that in marriages among 20 somethings, women who were rated as more attractive than their husbands, more support was noted between spouses for spousal problems (such as eating better, losing weight, finding another job) than among spouses where the husband was better looking.

The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

Well, I can see some issues with this research – couples were all relatively newly married and still YOUNG, but it’s interesting. The first sentence of the article suggests marrying a notch beneath you, to keep your husband on his toes and working to maintain his trophy wife.

Thoughts?

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2008 1:39 pm

    No. Men seem to be relatively easily threatened by women for lots of reasons. Nothing like having a more beautiful and/or more successful woman to damage an already fragile male ego. He can parade her around to his buddies but I suspect he will eventually try to lower her to his level in private.

  2. episcopalifem permalink*
    April 13, 2008 2:58 pm

    That could be, Shel. That could definitely be.

    Hmmmm….

    Especially in more of the long haul.

  3. April 13, 2008 5:59 pm

    Well, I’ve also seen the opposite, interestingly: beautiful men married to surprisingly not so beautiful women.

    I’m not sure any general rule applies.

    Except that a lot of men are threatened by smart women. (I think they are less threatened by beautiful women, frankly.)

  4. episcopalifem permalink*
    April 13, 2008 8:54 pm

    Jane R. – I’ve noticed the same thing. This is why I said it was “interesting-ish”.

    And ditto on the smart girl thing. Only special guys like really smart girls – like the really secure ones.

  5. April 14, 2008 12:37 am

    Oh, my, yes.

    I could tell you stories…

    when I finally met a man who could still smile when I won at Scrabble, I married him.

  6. April 14, 2008 8:10 am

    Fascinating. I think that there is truth in this for many. Not to judge (oh but I am, suffering a bout of that if you visit the churchy bloggy you will see!) but I think that there are many who do view life through a lens that supports this.

    Which is just one of many reasons there are so many relationship problems.

    I should know – it took me a long time and many bad relationships or bizarre periods of isolation when I couldn’t or wouldn’t deal. My one year anniversary is coming up 4/28, I was 49 when I finally married.

    That said – there is something to be said about men who can and do find attraction in intelligence, with, compassion. And women who can do the same.

    Our culture of physical beauty will do us in!

    Thanks for this thought provoking post.

  7. mocat permalink
    April 14, 2008 2:10 pm

    My solution? Eliminate the man from the equation.
    With two woman, picking a mate based on physical attributes is on the back burner where it belongs (at least it has been in my experience). All we care about is: 1) Do we enjoy each other’s company 2) Does she laugh at my jokes 3) Do her cats get along with my cats.

    Not having to worry about how coiffed I look or whether these pants make my butt look fat is very liberating…..
    that and I never have to put the toilet seat down. 😉

  8. episcopalifem permalink*
    April 14, 2008 4:03 pm

    You know Mo…I’m almost sold…

    Fran – Yeah..I agree. Beauty is a fleeting thing…but the things inside of us..those are the things that we will always be.

  9. April 14, 2008 4:59 pm

    I am not threatened by beautiful women, nor am I threatened by intelligent women. However, women with weapons, especially thermonuclear devices, threaten me.

  10. susan s. permalink
    April 14, 2008 7:00 pm

    Well, the Mayor of San Francisco was married to a beautiful woman. She was almost as pretty as he is. That marriage lasted about 5 years. Now he’s engaged to a beautiful actress. I wonder how long that will last. But your right Eileen, it’s only interesting-ish. I just barely wonder about it.

  11. episcopalifem permalink*
    April 14, 2008 7:42 pm

    Yeah Mickey…I know what ya mean….that scares the crap out me too!

    susan s. – exactly.

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