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10, 20, 30 Meme

October 26, 2007

This is a meme where I am supposed to tell you what I was doing 10, 20, and 30 years ago.

10 years ago, I was 28.  I was a brand new mom of an adopted child, whose adoption wouldn’t be finalized until he was 10 months old.  I was juggling being a new mom, working full time and going to school, along with the huge fear that this great gift that God had sent to us would be pulled away from us if his birthmom or her family decided that they made a mistake and really wanted to keep him after all. It was a joyfully stressful time.

20 years ago I was 18.  I was in college, living in the dorm, trying to decide if I wanted to be a lawyer or an English teacher. I was enjoying living “away” from home, even though my “home” was 20 minutes from the dorm.  I loved college.  The campus is an old estate of George Gould, and was filled with great architecture and gardens. I loved the smell of the library (where I worked as a student worker) and the stillness of the campus in the evenings when you walked around.  It was a good time in my life – I felt alive.

30 years ago I was 8.  I was in 3rd grade, and my teacher was Mrs. Netburn.  My cousin and I were in the same class that year (the only time that we were, even though we were in the same grade).  We were learning how to divide and multiply, and we were learning how to write “script” or “cursive”.  It was also the year another older cousin of mine began to sexually molest me. To that point, he had been a hero of mine. Older and stronger, he was favored first grandchild of my beloved grandmother.  I didn’t tell anybody what was going on until I was about 13, when I just couldn’t take how “trusted” he was by all the adults around him.  He never raped me (thank God), but he did many other damaging things to me, and mostly pinned me under the weight of his favored status and larger stature.  He hasn’t forgiven me for “ending” things to this day, and he’s 42 or so  now.

Well..didn’t that sort of turn into a downer? I didn’t mean for that to happen!

I’m supposed to tag some others, so here goes: Doxy, David H. and Heather and anyone else who feels like playing along.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2007 1:06 pm

    Your cousin hasn’t forgiven YOU? For Pete’s sake. What a huge thing to share, and count me as honored. Thank you, and {{{{hugs}}}}.

  2. episcopalifem permalink*
    October 26, 2007 1:12 pm

    Ok…I haven’t really forgiven him either. I guess we are even. LOL

  3. October 26, 2007 9:09 pm

    (((Eileen))). So awful. I’m glad you could name it than and that you can name it now.

    And I’m glad you still have your son!

  4. October 26, 2007 10:51 pm

    have you seen the 7UP series? we had to watch it in a developmental psych class.

    Starting at age seven and then every 7 years Michael Apted and his cameras have followed a crowd of English men and women around. 49UP is out (they all have grey hair, kids and etc) and the next installment (56 UP) is due out in in 2011 or so.

    Odd seeing the whole pattern of life for some people over the course of a few episodes.

  5. October 26, 2007 11:25 pm


    I don’t always like memes, but this is a good one! Hmmm, where was I in 1997, 1987, and 1977?

  6. October 27, 2007 11:52 am

    Ten years ago I had just gotten divorced, and have no idea what I was doing nor why I was doing it, a state that continued for some time: perhaps even, to some extent, to the present. 🙂

    Twenty years ago I was an “Interim associate Pastor” in a large suburban UCC congregation in Connecticut. The recurrent image I use for that experience is that of being a brand new 2nd Lt. in an infantry company in combat: a replaceable part. The Senior Pastor had been a company Commander in Korea.

    Thirty years ago I was a police officer on vacation, visiting the seminary I would attend as a student starting in January. I was also attending the General Assembly (Convention) of my then denomination in Kansas City: networking, mostly, during which I had breakfast with a kindly gentleman who had been LBJ’s pastor, an “interesting” conversation for a Vietnam Veteran.

  7. October 29, 2007 8:28 am

    Good Meme, and thanks for sharing. I have put my answers on my blog…along with a few pictures of long ago. This was fun.

    Prayers for you continuing.

  8. klady permalink
    October 29, 2007 12:41 pm

    Thanks, Eileen. I’m so sorry to hear about what your cousin did, but how strong and brave you must have been to finally speak out. I’m glad the last twenty years have brought some happy memories, including the gifts of children in your life.

  9. October 30, 2007 11:21 am

    10 years ago I was 37 and a brand-new parent (my son was almost a year old at the time). Was still learning that being a Dad is one of those things that takes your mind/soul out, shakes it like a maraca, and pours it back into you all different and stuff 😉

    20 years ago I was 27 and out on my own as a single person in the Big City (Dallas), having moved there from small town Durango, CO a few years prior. Had my first, serious girlfriend and no earthly idea what I wanted to do with myself (well, besides get said girlfriend in the sack as frequently as possible 😉

    30 years ago I was a callow and depressive 17 and living in rural, northern Illinois. Place was as flat as a tabletop and had some of the worst weather I’ve ever experienced. Like a lot of you might have experienced in High School, I had some of the most intense friendships I’ve ever known.

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