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Several things:

September 14, 2007

1) I bought these things at Target last night:

  • snacks of all sorts – Fig Newtons, Cheezits, Oreos, Mini-Oreos, high fiber granola bars that are DELISH by FiberOne of all things, Banana-Walnut Breakfast Squares
  • Lean Cuisines
  • Several packages of boys size large boxer shorts, woven and knit cotton
  • Adderall and ibuprofen
  • 1% milk
  • Pop-corn shrimp
  • Capri-sun juice thingers
  • A mess of water
  • The Princess Bride, Robots, The Nutty-Professor I & II, Benchwarmers, The Holiday
  • Orange colored dish detergent to get the chlorine green out of my daughter’s hair (this worked!)

2) Long-haired cats can get really, really, really disgusting when they have diarrhea.

3) Long-hair cats, who smell like shit, really, really, really don’t like baths, and would rather be miserable and smell like shit. They will make sure as much shit as possible gets all over while you “try” to wash it off, and will be certain to make all kinds of not-so-nice sounds while you do it, and while they try to scamper away.

4) Go ahead, ask me how I know this…I dare you.

5) Asshat husbands, who are asshats, will continue to be asshats.

6) Ditto on #4 for #5

7) Homework sucks

11 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2007 2:32 pm

    Perhaps you should threaten to withhold Oreos and Cheezits from said husband until he cleans up his act a bit, eh ?

  2. September 14, 2007 2:40 pm

    I’d be finding a cat groomer, myself. (Maybe that housekeeper you were going to hire will also clean cats?)

    And I am so with you on numbers 4 &5.

    That homework sucks almost goes without saying, but if it makes you feel any better…at least Jake is not in middle school yet. Homework in middle school sucks like a Hoover.

  3. September 14, 2007 2:46 pm


    At least you can still laugh about it–hold on to that.

  4. September 14, 2007 3:41 pm

    And this time, make sure the boxer shorts are in the laundry to be done! Just sayin’ yo.

  5. September 14, 2007 3:49 pm

    Oy! I have experienced the heartbreak of experiencing the diarrheic long haired cat.

  6. September 14, 2007 3:56 pm

    When Annie’s little surprises start clinging to her furry ass and dropping off at various parts in the garrote, I know it’s time to make her a beauty appointment. They give her an anesthesia, so she only minds the trip, and not the whole experience.

  7. September 14, 2007 5:26 pm

    The Princess Bride, asshat spouse, and cat crap?


  8. September 14, 2007 5:37 pm

    Having owned cats – multiple cats – for some time, I am aware of the problem of incontinent cats. I hope your scratches heal quickly.

  9. September 14, 2007 5:56 pm

    There is something to be said for a pair of clippers, a sedative and a suit of armor… For the cat of course, not the husband, though I’m sure it might be satisfying.

    Keep laughing, and enjoy those snacks, sounds like you’ve earned a little indulgence.


  10. Paul (A.) permalink
    September 15, 2007 6:25 pm

    If the problem with homework is the quantity given to children, check out the techniques for parents given in this book to persuade teachers to give reasonable amounts, or if this fails then alternatives.

  11. September 17, 2007 10:52 pm



    Target rocks. I outfitted my son for Fall for under $100.

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