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From my Mom…Love Poems

June 13, 2007


Before I  lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One  who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen  long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait  for weeks.
  I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend  his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my  door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man  who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my  behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always  be my very best friend.


I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac  with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course.   

 This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. June 13, 2007 2:12 pm

    Heh ::snort::

    But I don’t like golf, and I love women with big brains, too 🙂

  2. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 2:17 pm

    Well..I have a decent size brain…

    What about big asses? Do you like big asses?

    I’m all about back. This baby got back!

  3. June 13, 2007 4:35 pm

    Well, ummm…. yes

    ::blushes furiously:: 😀

  4. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 4:39 pm

    Punches David in the arm…Oh…stop it!

  5. June 13, 2007 4:42 pm

    You asked! ::rubs arm, looks abused::

  6. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 4:48 pm

    I did ask…that was a sisterly punch. I’m only 5′ tall you know..and not a body builder.

    Offers you a Chocolate…

  7. June 13, 2007 5:08 pm

    Mmmm….chocolaaaaate. One of the four food groups!

    And best the way I like my coffee and beer – dark & intense. (well, OK…I put cream & sugar in my coffee, but I like it to start out that way)

  8. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 5:24 pm

    Yeah. Chocolate makes it allll betterer.

    And a glass of wine.

    I don’t like my beer or coffee dark and intense. That’s how I like my men.

    Hence, I’m married to a brooder.

  9. June 13, 2007 5:29 pm

    Heh, heh…guess I wouldn’t fit. I brood, but I’m a descendent of English, Scots/Irish, Welsh and Dutch ancestors. You know, all the palest ethnic groups of Europe ;-> (i.e. I be a White white boy)

  10. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 5:37 pm

    I lied…it’s not the dark part, it’s the intense part.

    I’m a brooder too.

    What is it, the black Irish they call it, right?

    Cept I’m not dark either. LMAO

  11. June 13, 2007 5:47 pm

    Add me to the dark-and-intense chocolate lovers (red wine too).

    But no brooders, thank you very much. I am DONE with the strong, silent type…

    As for the poems—well, the first one is right on the money, except for one thing. I won’t be spending his cash. I’ll spend my own damned money and then I don’t have to answer to a soul.

    (Can you tell that I have “issues” about that?! 🙂 )

  12. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 7:14 pm

    I agree Paige. Next time, no brooders.

    And also, my own money is also a good thing. (Although that’s not as big an issue here as my lack of cleaning mania…)

    Red wine is yummers. A nice glass of Shiraz or Zinfandel…mmm.

  13. June 13, 2007 8:58 pm

    Strong coffee, chocolate, wine, beer … I’ll add whiskey. Let’s hear it for self-medication! (oops, wrong thread …)

  14. June 13, 2007 9:38 pm

    I love my women like I love my coffee: strong and black with a spoon in them.

  15. June 13, 2007 10:23 pm

    Here’s what Wikipedia says about the Black Irish. Seems the explanation I always heard (descended from remnants of the Spanish Armada survivors) is an old wives tale…

  16. episcopalifem permalink*
    June 13, 2007 10:34 pm

    Well..ok then El Padre! I gots spoons.

  17. June 14, 2007 12:40 am


  18. June 14, 2007 9:49 am

    The “dark and intense” comments reminded me of a saying I once heard about how a proper Turkish Coffee is supposed to turn out:

    “Black as death, sweet as love.”

    /me loves Turkish Coffee, BTW…

  19. June 14, 2007 10:46 am

    You guys so up the value of comments reading.

    I’m definitely working the phrase “dark and intense” into everyday conversation today.

  20. June 15, 2007 10:05 am

    Better yet, work the phrase, “…with a spoon in [it, them, etc..]” into everyday conversation. Heh

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