Skip to content

From the File of Things you must know: The Formula for the Perfect Bacon Sandwich

April 11, 2007


As reported in the London Journal via the NY Times here.

The formula? N = C + {fb(cm) · fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc · ta

There ya go.

Advertisements
11 Comments leave one →
  1. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    April 11, 2007 11:03 am

    Can you translate that formula for me? Since I live in the Blessed Land of Pork (complete with the country’s largest, horribly polluting, hog farms), I should at least ATTEMPT to make this!

  2. Eileen permalink
    April 11, 2007 11:12 am

    Whaddaya want everything?

    (Translation: I have utterly NO idea what this formula means…)

    But, I wanna eat that sammich so bad!

  3. Eileen permalink
    April 11, 2007 11:22 am

    Ok Doxy – Just for you!

    Ideally, Danish Bacon said, 0.4 newtons should be applied to crunch the sandwich, creating 0.5 decibels of noise. The formula uses these values: N = force in newtons; fb is the function of the bacon type; fc is the function of the condiment or filling effect; Ts is the serving temperature; tc is cooking time; ta is the time taken to insert the condiment or filling; cm is the cooking method and C represents the breaking strain in newtons of uncooked bacon.

    Now, we know.

    The article is actually quite interesting, talking about the Brittish terms for sandwich (butties, sarnies), and lots of good stuff about the science of food appeal.

  4. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    April 11, 2007 12:00 pm

    NOW I see the problem. I could “see” a link to the article on your blog. Must be the light in here…or else my aging eyes.

    I’m off to find some bacon…

  5. Padre Mickey permalink
    April 11, 2007 3:52 pm

    Due to my concern for your immortal souls, may I point you all here

  6. Eileen permalink
    April 11, 2007 9:33 pm

    Padre – I am touched by your concern for my heretical soul.

    But, I can’t give up BACON, no matter what it says in leviticus!!!!

  7. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    April 11, 2007 10:23 pm

    Padre–I have it on good authority that a rasher of bacon was in the sheet that God let down out of heaven for Peter.

    Because pork is sublime. How can anything that brings such joy be evil?

  8. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    April 11, 2007 10:24 pm

    Eileen–my earlier comment should have read I COULDN’T see a link.

    Apparently I can neither see nor type. Probably because my arteries are clogged by too much pork…

  9. Padre Mickey permalink
    April 12, 2007 10:19 am

    I loves me some pork, but bacon, well, God hates bacon and so do I.

    The Lovely Mona used to make a mean pork steak in mushroom gravy before she got into that Raw Food Vegetarianism thang.

    However, I still cooks the pork for me and Chompy.

    But no bacon, because God hates it and so do I.

  10. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    April 12, 2007 11:34 am

    But no bacon, because God hates it and so do I.

    That just leaves more for me!

  11. Eileen permalink
    April 12, 2007 11:44 am

    And me!

    God does NOT hate Bacon.

    He loves it, just like he loves me.

    Jesus loves me and bacon this I know, cuz the bible tells me so (it’s in there…The Book of BACON! 5:12-14)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: