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Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water (WARNING – Adult Body Part Talk Ensues!)

March 8, 2007

David emailed me this link Four Words I’m Not Entirely Sure Ought to Be Used in Combination, Ever! They are: Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

With that, I decide to check out the happenings at Cutting to the Chase, and I find this corresponding post: Designer Vaginas

So, now it’s not enough that we are worried about having too much ass or not enough ass or big thighs or chicken legs, or scraggly hair…now we have to worry about “Does my coochie look sleek?”

Pardon me, please, but give me an EFFIN BREAK.

This is why one’s coochie is in a place where you can’t readily see it. IT’S “DOWN THERE” for a reason! It’s not supposed to be aesthetic, for God’s sake. It’s functional!!!!!!! However your hoo-ha is, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

And if it’s loosey-goosey, DO SOME KEGELS.

Don’t make some dorky doc or porn producer rich by worrying about the sleek look of your nether region.

You cover it with pants, and when it isn’t covered, you should be sharing with someone who already loves it just the way it IS.

End rant.

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21 Comments leave one →
  1. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    March 8, 2007 2:02 pm

    Eileen—I love you. Truly.

    Even if I *am* jealous as hell that MadPriest thinks you are Lilith… 😉

    (I think I shall take the role of Jael. She knew what to do with men who were misbehaving.)

  2. Eileen permalink
    March 8, 2007 2:11 pm

    LOL, I’m just easily perturbed, I guess.

    And, I’m doing some research on Jael – let’s see if we can find a sexay pic of her!

    See, the thing about blogging is that you learn something new everyday in an interactive way! I had no awareness of Jael before today, and now, I have great admiration for her.

    And I’m sure, that she was cool with her hoo-ha just the way it was!

  3. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    March 8, 2007 2:13 pm

    You’ll have to tell me how to add pics to my blog. I’m a Luddite in so many ways…

  4. Grandmère Mimi permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:02 pm

    Cosmetic surgery on the vagina! This is so sick. Eileen, you are very right.

    What do the pretty ones look like?

  5. David permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:04 pm

    And lest I be branded as the perv* who sends Eileen links to discussions on “designer coochies,” please note that I also sent the same email to our own Mad Priest 😉

    Not that I’m not a perv, just not the kind you’re thinking of 😉

  6. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:17 pm

    David—I saw that link over at I Blame the Patriarchy.

    You know there’s hope for humanity when your average human being is an repulsed by this as your most ardent patriarchy-blamer! 😉

  7. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:21 pm

    And Eileen–I didn’t mean to imply that you were average!

    It’s just that Twisty is a radical lesbian feminist—and I mean *radical.* I’m pretty radical myself, but I wouldn’t go as far as she does.

    For one thing, despite my terrible history in choosing husbands, I do think men can be a lot of fun. The trick is to get them to pay homage to your nether regions and then send them home… 😉

  8. MoCat permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:28 pm

    tee-hee…you said “hoo-ha” :snicker:

    I shall start my own blog and call it “Hoo-Ha Tips for Ministers”, afterall, we can’t have any frumpy mother-earth type hoo-has out there ruining the feminine pastorly image for the rest of us….get me Nightline on the horn, stat!

  9. David permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:46 pm

    the Doxy suggested, “The trick is to get them to pay homage to your nether regions and then send them home… ;-)”,

    Heh (snort) – You’re just bad – bad, I say… ;->

  10. Eileen permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:48 pm

    David – But you ARE a perv. I luf you for it anyway.

    Mimi – This kind of crap makes me looney. And, let’s face it, it also makes for good black humour.

    Doxy – I’m radicalish, too, but, despite feeling aggravated by the mens from time to time, I do like to play with them – especially when they pay homage to my hoo-ha.

    Actually…I might like to play with anyone…OH..NEVERMIND. LOL

    MO – LMAO!!!! Hot Hoo-Ha Ministers!!!

  11. Eileen permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:49 pm

    David – What the hell is in that Armadillo’s mouth???

    Inquiring minds need to know.

  12. David permalink
    March 8, 2007 4:38 pm

    It’s a piece of paper with a phone number on it.

    Came from some “Internet startup” company that went belly-up when the bubble burst in 2000. As MP might say, I “nicked” it (and they ain’t around to complain about it anyways 😉

    I suppose I oughta import this into an image editing program and replace the phone number with something more interesting at some point…

  13. Eileen permalink
    March 8, 2007 4:41 pm

    Well, thanks David. Now I can sleep at night!

    Can’t wait to see what you cook up to “replace” the paper!

  14. Wormwood's Doxy permalink
    March 8, 2007 4:43 pm

    You’re just bad – bad, I say…

    My moniker says it all. You have been warned.

  15. David permalink
    March 8, 2007 4:45 pm

    Eileen said, “Can’t wait to see what you cook up to “replace” the paper!”

    I’m now thinking of “Hot Hoo-Ha Ministers,” or perhaps “Clerics of the Coochie”

  16. David permalink
    March 8, 2007 4:47 pm

    Wormwood’s Doxy said, “My moniker says it all. You have been warned.”

    (sigh) But why do we love the Bad Girls so much anyway ? ;->

  17. Eileen permalink
    March 8, 2007 5:30 pm

    lmao@Clerics of the Coochie!!!!

  18. Ann permalink
    March 8, 2007 7:17 pm

    Just catching up on this most wonderfully weird blogspace — Jael here and HERE, and HERE

  19. Caminante permalink
    March 8, 2007 7:41 pm

    Thanks for the laughs….

  20. Catherine + permalink
    March 9, 2007 6:46 pm

    Maybe a picture of Ann Coulter will do for Jael…

  21. Eileen permalink
    March 9, 2007 11:05 pm

    Hey Catherine! I was only vaguely familiar with Ann Coulter – so I googled her. After doing some reading, I understand why I was only vaguely familiar with her. She spews the kind of venom that makes my stomach sick.

    I think I’d rather see Ann C in the role of Siscera. (shudders)

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